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Have you ever felt a little guilty or maybe even ashamed and/or embarrassed looking up or casually coming across something that reads the following:
how to be a better wife? Or
how to be a better husband? Or
how to be a better mom?
Well I can say to you confidently that you should remove any negative connotation and/or emotion associated with the thought “how to be a better…” because this is a VERY common question(s) that people (women more than men) often ask themselves but are too embarrassed to admit it publicly.
I’ve seen it for years, with people who come into the clinic and say that they do not feel like they are being the BEST xyz. Often, it’s because they think that they are not fulfilling some sort of societal standard of what a relationship should look and feel like. And in the end, they feel a tremendous amount of guilt for not being a better wife.
Yes, there are times when I have personally seen people come into the clinic and say that their respective spouse has said to them that they are not doing this or that or that their relationship is lacking something.
But on most occasions, the latter case is rarer compared to the former as people want to start to fix something before it’s even broken – if that makes any sense.
So now that you’re here, reading this post, does it mean that you are trying to fix something before it’s broken? No that’s not necessarily the case.
Wanting to be a better wife and have a strong romantic relationship is important when it comes to many aspects of your life and that includes your health.
According to Northwestern Medicine, healthy relationships result in 5 major benefits when it comes to your overall health and well-being including, less stress, better healing, healthier behaviors, a greater sense of purpose and a longer life.
Wanting to improve yourself can only lead to positive effects. My hope for you is, to walk away feeling more confident in yourself and your relationship.
So! Let’s begin with the top 7 ways to be a better wife in your relationship!
7 Ways To Be A Better Wife & Improve Your Health!
1) Be grateful for ONE thing EVERY single day
– Given the climate in which we live in right now it’s quite easy to fall down a deep dark rabbit role. One can easily start to think about how your spouse didn’t do this, that, or the other thing. But it’s always harder to remember the good, positive things that someone else does when all it takes is one bad thought to remind us how there are dishes still left in the sink and wet towels on the bathroom floor.
– Make it a point to wake up and be thankful for at least one thing every single day that remindsyou of how much you love your spouse.
– And even better would be to let that other person KNOW why you are grateful for them and/or what they do that makes you appreciate them.
2) Focus on the positive to be a better wife
– Criticize less, compliment more. Yes, I know it’s extremely easy to say. But it’s also the best advice to get sometimes; especially in the midst of a really heated moment.
– And when I say criticize less, I do not just mean criticize your spouse less, I am also referring to criticizing yourself less as well. Appreciate yourself and all the effort you’re putting into being a better wife.
3) Quality time vs quantity to be a better wife
– Make the most of whatever time you have together. We all have busy lives nowadays. In most households, both spouses work and they work HARD. There is no easy route to living a full and enriching life. You have to work for the things you care about most. This includes all of your close relationships as well.
– Spending good quality time with your spouse is what matters at the end of the day. It is the memories you form that will last a lifetime, not the amount of total time you had together.
– It’s easier to put other things ahead of yourself and your most valuable relationship (not including your kids). It is necessary to schedule a regular date night every week, or to go for a movie, just the two of you with no other distractions.
4. Ask what they NEED/WANT
– You won’t know until you ask. It’s easy to assume, especially in long term relationships what the other person would like to do or would just like in general. But the best thing in life to do is to simply ask instead. It prevents resentment and shows the person that, you value their opinion and are of thinking of them.
– Everyone wants to feel special and to be HEARD. Being a better wife entails asking those questions and listening to the answers.
5. Eliminate “nothing is wrong” or “I’m fine” to be a better wife
– Remove these phrases from your vocabulary. I mean if we are being honest, we have ALL said these words at some point and yet we KNOW we feel the exact opposite of fine and that EVERYTHING is actually wrong.
– In order to be a better wife, next time, speak up and communicate how you are actually feeling. There’s no point in holding a grudge and letting it grow. Be adult about the situation and learn to handle it in a more effective communicative way; even if it’s a brutal conversation that kills you.
6. Respect each other’s space
– This goes back to the previous point from above. Quality over quantity. Sometimes when you are so head over heels in love with someone, you lose focus on other things in life (like friendships and family) and focus entirely on your spouse.
– This can be damaging to the other relationships that you have with people and it’s imperative to realize that taking time apart and having your space/safe haven is important as well.
– It allows you to not only grow as an INDIVIDUAL but as a COUPLE.
– While you may not be able to live without a little ‘girl talk’ with you friends, your spouse may need some good quality time alone watching some mindless tv. Take advantage of the time apart and then come back together stronger and bolder than before making you a better wife which your partner will appreciate.
7. Knowing his/her’s LOVE language to be a better wife
– This is based on the knowledge provided by the author Gary Chapman who wrote the book “The 5 Love Languages.”
Check out The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts at Amazon!
– It will help you realize the way your spouse (and others) give and receive love which is the most important way to be a better wife.
– It is a helpful tool that may make communication a little clearer if you know that your love language is the same or different than your partner’s.
– It’ll help you understand (hopefully!) the other person better. And you never know, maybe it will enlighten you on your own understanding of love as well making you a better wife.
For more on creating loving relationships check out:
30 Day Relationship Challenge: Grow Your Love To New Heights
17 Self Relationship Goals: Quotes To Nourish Your Inner Soulmate
14 Tips For Building A Healthy Loving Relationship
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Hi I’m Dr. Naveen Gupta, physician-turned-type 2 diabetes, prediabetes and weight loss coach who helps you easily lower your blood sugars and lose weight by creating fun, happiness and amazing lifestyle you love! If you're interested in working together, email me at drnav@thelifestylecure.com to get started today!
